Review - Godzilla (2014)

Godzilla (2014) is a disaster. Not a disaster movie but just a disaster. Godzilla looks like a roided up and pissed off Teddy Ruxpin with indigestion and only graces the screen of a movie that bears his name for perhaps ten minutes. What really got me though was the shear impotent stupidity of everyone. I mean, I've met some people whose IQ was well below normal but even they could learn from their mistakes. In this film, people continue to fire small arms at a beast that has withstood a nuclear blast. You'd think even the government could learn not to fling multimillion dollar electric fuel-injected jet fighters at a monster that emits an EMP, although miraculously the Energizer powered Geiger counters they whip out immediately afterward work just fine. If there's a monster in this movie, it's not Godzilla but rather the stoically heroic hero GI Joe's Son as he moves woodenly and emotionlessly through the motions of accomplishing absolutely nothing whatsoever and utterly ignoring the wife he hasn't seen in 14 months. There was really no emotion at all in this film which is odd for a film which focuses on people rather than the monster. What I will say about this movie is that it does have production values with good quality CG, surprisingly good cinematography and music. I'd hate to have had JJ Abrams whip out his handicam and film this. 1/5.