Douche on the Street #25 - It's a Milestone Number

I was just leaving work with my headphones in listening to the music I use to keep people like you at bay. It didn't work. You spun, somehow detecting me behind you (few people do until I scare the crap out of them) and asked if I could hear you. I responded I could as I recognized your face. You asked to use my cellphone to call your friend. Just a quick minute. Just to see if he was home. I said no, it costs me money. Isn't it free this time of night? No, it's not. Do you have fifty cents for a payphone? No, I don't; who carries change anymore? "Thanks for nothing," you called as you stormed away. "I bet you don't have many friends!" Ouch. This baseless assertion about my life really stung.

 

Here's the kicker. I'm met this guy before. He once bilked me of ten bucks for gas so he could get home to another town to take his dog out at 4 in the morning because his friend was supposed to DD but ended up getting drunk. Or that's the story he gave me, anyway. I called this to him as he stalked away. He replied: "Good! I should have taken you for more!" Wow. I'm not sure what's happened in your life that you think everything I own is supposed to be at your disposal but let me tell you that I bust my balls everyday of the week to make ends meet and be sure I have fifty cents at the end of the day. You have a gas guzzling truck while I shuffle along in a pair of penny loafers. Perhaps you should be a little more patient with the strangers you chafe with. I hear karma's a bitch. Because you're an ungrateful person in the face of adversity, you are a fucking douchebag.

 

My advice to you on this beautiful evening is to enjoy your walk across town with your dog on your hunt for a pay phone.