Douche on the Street #15

"The sign says 'don't walk!'" she shouts as she cuts the corner and nearly clips me as she makes a left turn onto a one way street. The light said walk when I started walking and turned to a ominous looking flashing red hand as I was half way across.

When I went to driving school, I was taught that pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way. Which is not to say pedestrians have the right to run out into the middle of traffic but if they do and you hit them with your car, you've got a problem. In any case, my crossing was perfectly legal.

"What's this sign say?" I shouted back with my middle finger extended.

Because you got your license from a crackerjack box and have zero esteem for anyone but your SUV, you are a douche.

Public Dysfunction

Turns out Robert Munsch is addicted to cocaine and alcohol. I'm not surprised.

Dear Canadian Taxpayers

Dear Canadian Taxpayers,

Let's see you do better.

Sincerely,
Jim Flaherty, Minister of Finance

Foxx Wilder Esquire

This month's issue of Esquire magazine is entitled the "Women (The Issue)." In it, there is a survey of some 9617 who responded to an online poll. I'd like to make a note of a few of the questions. Questions that have plagued mankind from the dawn of time. Questions that have plagued man since the sexual revolution.

Question 5: Do you believe in God?
Respondents: 61% Yes, 39% No
A little at odds with the last stats I heard of America at large a few years ago, skewed by about 8% but Ok. Close enough. Maybe women are believers more than men.

Question 10: Do you believe in evolution?
Survey says: 89% Yes, 11% No
A little at odds with question five, don't you think? I guess God didn't create man; He created ape. Coincidentally (or maybe not) this question got the exact same response as "Do you support gay marriage?"

Question 17: The best looking man in America is:
Response: Johnny Depp 29%, George Clooney 28%, Jon Hamm 21%, Brad Pitt 12%, and a few unnotable sparkling teenagers and a president.
Who the hell is Jon Hamm? And how did he beat out Brad Pitt? Granted, bearded Pitt looks like he changes your oil and tries to sell you headlight fluid, but he graces the cover of every celebrity gossip magazine every week. And who the hell is Jon Hamm?

Question 28: Have you ever had an affair?
Respondents: Yes 24%, No 76%
Yet half of you claim you've been cheated on. I don't buy it. I think either you've been cheated on less or some of you are lying about doing the cheating. Honestly.

Question 29: If you knew you wouldn't be caught, would you cheat?
Answers: Yes 16%, No 84%
Meaning for 8% of you, getting caught was the primary attraction? Yes, do the math, 24% say they've had an affair, but only 16% say they would have an affair. Ahem.

Lastly, question 49: On average, how many dates do you go on before you offer to pay for dinner?
Response: 51% on first date, 32% on 2nd or 3rd date, 7% on 4th to 6th date, 2% after the 6th date, 7% say "a man should always pay for me."
So 51% are civilized and 7% are still living in 1947.